Getting good at conversations and overcoming social barriers can havea profound impact beyond your current self-esteem.
What if you were interested in getting good at relating to the opposite sex? Not just striking up a conversation, but also maintaining a healthy,happy relationship....
We all know it's not easy. I say if it's worth it, it doesn't matter how hard, I'm still going to master this....
Understand that they are just as nervous, if not more. Sometimes,people even get flattered to know others find them attractive and nowmust "live up to the standard" because subconsciously we don't wantthat high feeling to leave. Even the most gorgeous models are insecure.
Read a book called the "Inner Game of Tennis" ... it talks aboutthe question: If I did this, will it kill me or can I live another day? This is the same as risking embarrassment when talking to the opposite gender ... will you live another day if they reject you?
Seek commonality. Express yourself and ask them questions if theylike X or enjoy Y as well. If there is little commonality, there isan uphill battle, thus the first thing I recommend is seeking commonality. This is fuel for a conversation!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Do you find youself at a loss for words?
I've had a question from a reader lately on something everyone faces.
"I get tongue-tied a lot .... what do I do?"
Yep, what do we do when we can't figure out what to say?
The first thing to realize is that people are just as self-conscious as you! They are also figuring out what to say. Even if this person isnot attracted to you, social courtesy dictates for them to continueunless they end it explicitly.
I always prepare for this using my news sources ... but I have yet another method ... simply change locations! For example, let's sayyou are sitting down with your date at a coffee shop and you run out of things to say. Just say "Hey let's go walk around the shops".
This will get you a refreshed mind on what to say. On a subconsciouslevel, your mind adapts to new environments and tries to pick outthings right away unlike an old environment even if that was a fewminutes old!
I hope this has helped you.
"I get tongue-tied a lot .... what do I do?"
Yep, what do we do when we can't figure out what to say?
The first thing to realize is that people are just as self-conscious as you! They are also figuring out what to say. Even if this person isnot attracted to you, social courtesy dictates for them to continueunless they end it explicitly.
I always prepare for this using my news sources ... but I have yet another method ... simply change locations! For example, let's sayyou are sitting down with your date at a coffee shop and you run out of things to say. Just say "Hey let's go walk around the shops".
This will get you a refreshed mind on what to say. On a subconsciouslevel, your mind adapts to new environments and tries to pick outthings right away unlike an old environment even if that was a fewminutes old!
I hope this has helped you.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
being charismatic and building a good rapport is just the beginning
In our previous lesson we talked about building a good rapport and being charismatic. Practice these techniques, and be charismatic. Never underestimate the power that buildng good rapport can have on your life.
Next we will learn two easy secrets that will never leave you struggling for words in a conversation. Especially in a conversation that is important. A first date, a job interview, these are just a few examples.
The first technique is to constantly observe and mentally comment on things around you. Make these comments short and end with a simple question. In public watch people and make comments in your head to them.
The next technique is simple. Stay current on the news. Know what topics are popular, that way you can always have a comment or two about them if they come up. If the topic is relevant to the conversation you can make a comment about it.
If you would like to learn many more proven technique's, I strongly recommend Insider Seduction Advice. It will teach you simple yet proven methods of conversation mastery, defeating shyness, being charismatic and getting what you want out of conversations.
Next we will learn two easy secrets that will never leave you struggling for words in a conversation. Especially in a conversation that is important. A first date, a job interview, these are just a few examples.
The first technique is to constantly observe and mentally comment on things around you. Make these comments short and end with a simple question. In public watch people and make comments in your head to them.
The next technique is simple. Stay current on the news. Know what topics are popular, that way you can always have a comment or two about them if they come up. If the topic is relevant to the conversation you can make a comment about it.
If you would like to learn many more proven technique's, I strongly recommend Insider Seduction Advice. It will teach you simple yet proven methods of conversation mastery, defeating shyness, being charismatic and getting what you want out of conversations.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
don't overlook the value of building a good rapport
Most people don't use rapport properly. When used properly rapport is something that will help your social image reach new levels.
The bottom line is that most people don't TRULY care about the person who they are talking to.
These tips I am about to give you hold true for just about any conversation. Talking to your new neighbor at the mailbox. Flirting with the cute new secretary at work. Virtually any conversation where you want to leave a lasting impression of integrity and realness.
Basically this is really simple, what you need to do is take the mental frame of mind wanting to get to know the person. Be curious about them, maybe they know some hidden bit of knowledge you have been seeking for years.
One easy way to do this is to picture the person as being the next president or famous actor, or some person whom you respect and look up to.
For those of you who don't know, I am a VERY shy person by nature. But, when I took this technique into a real conversation with a person I just met, I had a far more meaningful conversation with them. In fact i ended up with some very valuable information for a new product, because they volunteered information about what they REALLY wanted out of a certain situation. Without using this method, a person would have just given the same canned response that has no meaning or depth to it.
Most conversations people have are almost scripted, they are simply formalities. they have no real meaning or purpose.
For example, I often here people respond "Not much" to the question of "how are you doing today". The worst part is the person asking will often reply with a useless "courtesy routine".
Remember this is an entirely mental method. The words that come out of your mouth may still be, "how are you doing today" but her response will now be something like "I am doing good, I had the greatest time this afternoon doing... etc etc", a response that has real meaning. This will leave a lasting impression in her/his mind as well. they will remember you in a positive way.
You will never know what you are missing out on if you do not take these tips into action. It's worth the little bit of extra effort. Worth every bit of it...
---
The short training tip you just read was written by Jeff Bowerman. It was just an example some of the many skills you will learn in the "Conversation Fire" System by Mark Samet
Mark's system has been a lifesaver for me and for many other. It's your best chance at learning the hidden secrets to unstoppable charm & conversational mastery
The bottom line is that most people don't TRULY care about the person who they are talking to.
These tips I am about to give you hold true for just about any conversation. Talking to your new neighbor at the mailbox. Flirting with the cute new secretary at work. Virtually any conversation where you want to leave a lasting impression of integrity and realness.
Basically this is really simple, what you need to do is take the mental frame of mind wanting to get to know the person. Be curious about them, maybe they know some hidden bit of knowledge you have been seeking for years.
One easy way to do this is to picture the person as being the next president or famous actor, or some person whom you respect and look up to.
For those of you who don't know, I am a VERY shy person by nature. But, when I took this technique into a real conversation with a person I just met, I had a far more meaningful conversation with them. In fact i ended up with some very valuable information for a new product, because they volunteered information about what they REALLY wanted out of a certain situation. Without using this method, a person would have just given the same canned response that has no meaning or depth to it.
Most conversations people have are almost scripted, they are simply formalities. they have no real meaning or purpose.
For example, I often here people respond "Not much" to the question of "how are you doing today". The worst part is the person asking will often reply with a useless "courtesy routine".
Remember this is an entirely mental method. The words that come out of your mouth may still be, "how are you doing today" but her response will now be something like "I am doing good, I had the greatest time this afternoon doing... etc etc", a response that has real meaning. This will leave a lasting impression in her/his mind as well. they will remember you in a positive way.
You will never know what you are missing out on if you do not take these tips into action. It's worth the little bit of extra effort. Worth every bit of it...
---
The short training tip you just read was written by Jeff Bowerman. It was just an example some of the many skills you will learn in the "Conversation Fire" System by Mark Samet
Mark's system has been a lifesaver for me and for many other. It's your best chance at learning the hidden secrets to unstoppable charm & conversational mastery
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